Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Let Them Eat Pancake: Lent 2011

It’s Ash Wednesday so you know what that means: Lenten Season is upon us. I must confess, as a child, I didn’t know much about Lent. All I remember was getting stuck by an usher with a straight pin as she attached a palm to my dress, going to the Seven Last Words services and thinking Jesus sure did have a lot to say on the cross (for a child, any service longer than an hour is punishment), having Easter egg hunts around the church and getting a new Easter dress every year. It wasn’t until I became an adult, more recently in the last three years or so, that I became much more serious about living, what I heard referred to as, an “Easter life”.

It started small for me: “I’ll give up sweets”, “I’ll give up shopping everyday”, “I’ll give up Facebook”, “I’ll give up texting (to know me is to know the last two are indeed true sacrifices!!!).” And I would do it. I would read more but not really gain from the experience. And I realized why I wasn’t evolving in the ways I hoped; because, I was simply just going through the motions:

Give up for 40 days. Go shopping on Easter.

Give up for 40 days. Eat peach cobbler on Easter.

Give up for 40 days. Tell Facebook “I’m baaaaack” on Easter.

Give up for 40 days. Engage in a minimum of eight text conversations on Easter.

It didn’t matter what I gave up because I wasn’t committed to understanding and appreciating the depth of the sacrifice. And so, this year, I am.

Yesterday, I had my first Shrove Tuesday experience! For those who don’t know (and I didn’t until fairly recently), Shrove Tuesday concluded a week of deep reflection in preparation for the Lenten season. On Shrove Tuesday, many (most of Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopal and Catholic traditions) enjoy a pancake supper, as pancakes are comprised of most ingredients usually forbidden during Lent. While there, I was able to have a conversation with the mother of the founder of a festival I look forward to every other year. We talked about how her son’s dream allowed me to meet one of my best friends and how that was a testament to the purpose and power of his dream. I saw friends I hadn’t seen in years. We sat and talked and laughed for hours and hours and hours (we were actually asked nicely to carry our conversations to another venue a few times). While I’d already decided what I would be fasting from during Lent, I didn’t see how my Shrove Tuesday experience reinforced I made the right decision until this morning.

For the next forty days, I will be saying goodbye to the personal use of text, BBM, chat, email, Facebook and Twitter. This is, without question, a true sacrifice! I looked at my cell phone bill a month ago. In a month, I used only 400 minutes and sent 9500 text messages. I typed to a whole bunch of somebodies close to 10000 times. I couldn’t believe it. Then again, I could. I thought about how I would often miss a phone call and follow it up with a text message. I thought it all the times I’ve said Happy Birthday through BBM. I can give you real time updates on the life and times of some of my closest friends- not because I talk to them but because I’m their friend on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.

Don’t get me wrong: much of my usage is for sheer convenience. I’m busy and they’re busy and, sometimes, an email/text/message/ping is sufficient. However, after last night, I realize I miss talking and laughing with my friends. There’s a humanity there that technology can’t replace. I can’t misconstrue tone in conversation. My friends can’t be confused by my meaning and intention when we’re on the phone. Most importantly, we begin to value each other differently when we take time to talk to each other. But isn’t that what Lent is about? Isn’t about sacrificing something to understand the worth of the gift in Christ we’ve been given? Not only did Christ give me the gift of eternal life, He gave me the gift of wonderful friendships. I am loved by some amazing people. They need to know I appreciate that- that I am humbled by that. A text could say it. But it would be better coming from me.

Here’s to some life changing pancakes and to the next 40 days of reminding us all of why we’re really here.






©CMB, 2011

Westboro Baptist Church Needs What Would Jesus Do Bracelets

If you don’t see me in church on Sunday, I’m on a very special assignment. I’m going to give the members of Westboro Baptist Church a few of my old “What Would Jesus Do?” bracelets. I had a lot of them- almost one to match every outfit so I’ll have enough to go around. Because they need them.

No, seriously. They do.

Last week, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of Westboro Baptist Church, stating it was not liable for its protest at the funeral of a soldier killed in Iraq in 2006. The father of that soldier sued the church and initially won. The Supreme Court’s decision protects Westboro’s right to free speech, no matter how deplorable it may be. And it is.

I always thought Fred Phelps and his congregation were some of the biggest yahoos to ever name the name of Christ. But then I learned the truth: Westboro Baptist is, for the most part, comprised of Phelps’ relatives-which makes it a family church. I have no problem with family churches. Communities need them. I do, however, have problems with family churches that spew hate filled venom in every corner of the country and call it God’s work.

I guess I should provide my position: I agree with the Supreme Court’s ruling. We have a right to free speech. While I think to engage in demonstration at the funeral of fallen soldiers (or anyone for that) is in poor taste, it can’t be made illegal and can’t be used as grounds for a civil suit. The Supreme Court’s function is to interpret the Constitution of the United States of America. The Constitution states that American citizens have the right to peaceful assembly and freedom of speech. Ensuring eleven of his thirteen children are practicing attorneys, Fred Phelps ensures that Westboro never crosses the line between unethical behavior to illegal and unconstitutional behavior. As I teach my students, all crime is not deviant and all deviance is not criminal. Westboro’s actions, however, should encourage our local and state officials to pass legislation that limit the proximity of protestors to funerals. Arizona did this when Westboro announced that it would protest at the funeral of Christina Taylor Green, the 9yr old victim in the Tucson massacre. Until legislation is passed at the national level, this is going to be very much a state’s rights issue.

But beyond that, this is about the purpose of Christianity. I will never say, as many have said in interviews/blogs/the like, that the members of Westboro Baptist Church are not Christian. I do believe they love God. I believe that, given their interpretation of Scripture, they believe they are warning a nation of the consequences of living outside of Christ’s love. I also believe they are missing a key element: Christ’s love.

I did not live during the time of Christ but I think I know enough about Him to believe He would not agree with the vile and malicious name calling.

I did not live during the time of Christ but I think I know enough about Him to believe He would not want the sacred space of saying goodbye to a loved one violated by jeers, screams and picket lines.

I did not live during the time of Christ but I think I know enough about Him to believe He would rather that I show all people the same love and compassion He showed me, if I claim to be His disciple.

Westboro Baptist Church has it wrong. They have it all wrong. And if I can round up all my bracelets and head out there, I’m going to tell them just that.






©CMB, 2011

Friday, March 4, 2011

My Education from the Miseducation (of Lauryn Hill)

This past Tuesday evening, I saw something that I should never see again. I shouldn’t have seen in the first place. I was on the hunt for Marsha Ambrosius’ new album, Late Nights and Early Mornings (which is fabulous- by the way) and Adele’s latest release 21 (this will be one of the greatest albums of this decade) and I stopped dead in my tracks. I saw…

…brace yourself…

…are you ready?

…postive?!?!

…okay...

I saw The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill on sale for $7.00!!!

I know right!!!! I couldn’t believe it either! Such blasphemy! With just a five dollar bill and eight quarters, you could purchase one of the greatest musical masterpieces ever. How could they do this? It angered me. It really did. I left the store and didn’t even buy the other CDs out of protest.

I went home and pulled out my copy of The Miseducation. It’s never far from me. I’ve often said that if the Bible had a soundtrack, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill would be it. Yes, this album is that definitive to me. And I’m not alone. Every review of this gem agrees with me. But it took me a long time to get to a place where Lauryn’s miseducation could speak to mine.

When the album was released, I was starting my junior year of high school. I was still naïve, virginal, oblivious to love/men/relationships/confidence- all the things Lauryn spoke to. But I still knew I had something precious. I was beginning a transition in my life- a transition into womanhood. I was ready for college and all the uncertainty that came with it. More times than not, I would just sit and hit repeat over and over and let these words wash over me:

And deep in my heart, the answer, it was in me. And I made up my mind to define my own destiny.

The Miseducation did something all my years of church attendance could not. It helped me clothe myself in true self confidence and become aware of my place in and potential impact on the world.

With college (and adulthood) came the musings of love and I thought I’d found it. My movements, my intentions, my sacrifices, my thoughts reinforced that I was in complete and total possession of what so many twice my age were still pursuing:

These buildings could drift out to sea- some natural catastrophe. Still there’s no place I’d rather be, cause nothing even matters to me. Nothing even matters. Nothing even matters to me. Nothing even matters. Nothing even matters to me…..

But not only could Ms. Lauryn give me the words to articulate great and wonderful emotion, she was also my source to define what was turning out to be more of a complication than my life’s completion:

No matter how I think we grow, you always seem to let me know it ain't workin'. And when I try to walk away, you'd hurt yourself to make me stay. This is crazy.

And she deposited the wisdom in me that, if I let go, it would get better:

Everything is everything. What is meant to be, will be. After winter, must come spring. Change, it comes eventually.

Lauryn Hill and her 16 pieces of luggage were- and continue to be my roommates on this journey known as life and love.

They have been here when I’m dealing with the consequences of my devastating mistakes:

It’s been three weeks since you’ve been looking for your friend- the one you let hit it and never called you again…Don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem, baby girl….

…or when I force someone to deal with the consequences of their devastating mistakes:

You might win some but you really lost one. You just lost one, it's so silly how come. When it's all done, did you really gain from what you done done? It's so silly how come. You just lost one.

…or when I realize that where I am probably isn’t where I need to be:

But I loved the young man….and if you've ever been in love then you'll understand that what you want might make you cry and what you need might pass you by- if you don't catch it. And what you need, ironically, will turn out what you want to be- if you just let it.

…or when I realize that where I am is exactly where I am supposed to be:

See my soul was weary but now it's replenished. Content because that part of my life is finished…I used to love him. Now I don't.

…or when I realize that where I want to be is not where I am:

I know I'm imperfect and not without sin. But now that I'm older, all childish things end and tell him- tell him I need him. Tell him I love him and it'll be alright.

Through the one hour and seventeen minutes of The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, I have grown and continue to grow. I evolve from the unassuming schoolgirl to a woman, unashamed of her mistakes and unrelenting in her quest for love. That type of transformative power has to be worth more than 140 nickels. It has to be.

I believe it is.

Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.

Forgive them indeed.





©CMB, 2011

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Divine Dialogue To Honor The Life and Legacy of Dr. Peter Gomes


WINSTON SALEM, North Carolina, March 2, 2011 – On February 28, 2011, the American religious community lost one of its most powerful voices in the personality of Dr. Peter Gomes. Divine Dialogue with Candice Benbow will dedicate this week’s show to the life and legacy of the Plummer Professor of Christian Morals and Pusey Minister in the Memorial Church at Harvard University.
"Dr. Peter Gomes is without question one of the greatest theologians who ever lived," says host Candice Benbow. "He will be missed dearly as a generation seeks to advance his work and purpose through their own. We now look to his sermons, books, interviews and other scholarly works for a blueprint on how to become impactful theologians."
The show will air live March 3, 2011 from 7:00pm – 8:00pm EST on BlogTalk Radio at www.blogtalkradio.com/divinedialogue. Listeners who wish to join the conversation can call 909-533-8314.
An ordained Baptist minister, Dr. Gomes was a leading scholar on American religion. As an activist, Dr. Gomes often championed causes of civil rights, gay rights and gender equality within the church. Time Magazine once called him “one of the seven most distinguished preachers in America.” Both a member of Harvard’s Divinity School and School of Arts and Sciences faculties, Dr. Gomes served as Pusey Minister in the Memorial Church at Harvard since the early 1970s. Dr. Gomes was the author of several best-selling books including The Good Book: Reading the Bible with Mind and Heart and, most recently, The Scandalous Gospel of Jesus: What’s So Good About the Good News?

About Candice Benbow
Candice Benbow’s commentary regarding the impact of religion and social ethics in black and brown communities makes her one of this generation’s emerging leaders and thinkers. Her blog, Selah and Amen: Righteous Critique, allows her to marry her passion for writing with her social, political and spiritual commentaries. Additionally, she writes “Preparing for Purpose” devotionals that are read by subscribers across the world and recently completed writing the series “When God Speaks” that looks at a passage of scripture from each book in the Bible. In 2011, Candice launched Divine Dialogue, an internet radio show which discussing religious and social issues impacting the African-American Community. A published poet, Candice is at work on her first book, Prophets and Pop Culture: Blurring the Line Between the Sacred and Secular in Black America.

info@candicebenbow.com
www.candicebenbow.com