Tonight, Black folk all across the country tuned into the
TLC premiere of The Sisterhood, a
reality show chronicling the lives of pastors’ wives in Atlanta. The show honestly
could have been called Real Housewives of the Church, premiered on Bravo and
we’d have been none the wiser. It was ratchet. It was hilarious. It was
hilariously ratchet. And I loved every minute of it.
What I found to be equally as funny was the social media
commentary. Church folk everywhere were clutching their pearls in disbelief
that women so “kingdom minded” could be so vain, “slightly* vulgar and
inappropriate. (Said church folk also keep me in the RHOA loop so much so that
I don’t even have to watch it and we all have a standing appointment to watch
Love and Hip Hop together every Monday night but I digress.)
Yes, it was just something about Sisterhood that got the Saints hot. Could it possibly be….just
maybe that Sisterhood is one of the
most accurate depictions of the Black Church on television since Thelma and
Reuben got married on Amen?
Ratchetness aside, it’s true that the Black Church has made
the pastor’s family royalty, for whatever reason. Years ago, the pastor’s wife
was not referred to as “First Lady” and her sole income wasn’t attached to
that. Growing up, the pastor’s wife was “Mrs. So and So” and she was a teacher,
nurse, secretary, baker or seamstress. You knew the pastor’s wife outside of
the church. She had an identity. And “PKs” were just that….kids. Sure, their
dad was your pastor but they were treated no differently than you were. Today,
some pastor’s wives don’t work, are on salary at the church over women’s
ministries and one look at Facebook and Instagram photos indicate that today’s
PKs live lives of relative “baller” status. They have no (real) jobs and the
best clothes and cars. Shoot! I wanna be a PK! It has come to the point where
“first families” in the church expect to be treated like THE First Family and
many placed justification for First Family Appreciation Days on rocky
theological foundation. They call it favor; others might call it foolishness.
Is Sisterhood a
hot mess? Yup. Will 53 of this 60-minute show make you cringe? Sure will. Will
I still be watching? You betcha. But just like I can’t deny the Soror with the
potty mouth and OMG pics because she’s my sister, I can’t deny the stories of
these four wives because they’re very much a part of the Church to which I
belong.
It goes without saying that this is not the way of every
Black church in America. However, most mega and aspiring mega ministry
congregations do rock this way- which is why Sisterhood isn’t a far stretch from true reality. And, even still,
I want to be clear: not every mega ministry in Black America is depicted in Sisterhood. But more are than aren’t. We
can pretend but, unfortunately, we all know at least 3 “first ladies”,
whether they’d go on this show or not, whose lives play out a little like this.
In a world where lawsuits are filed against pastors every
fifth Sunday, private DM and text messages screenshots between a
#DearYoungPreacher and woman at the well are retweeted with wild abandon and
church fights make local news, if we want to change what we see on The Sisterhood, we need to change what’s
going on in the church, starting with leadership.
See you next Tuesday!
