What An Aunt Taught Her Niece

In the past year, not a day has escaped me where I do not think about my mommy’s baby sister, my Aunt Darlene. Along with my mother and grandmother,  she was one of the most influential women in my life. While I beamed when she told one of her nurses that she actually had three children (my cousins Mark, Reggie and me) instead of two, the truth is my aunt had been helping to mother me for quite some time. And as only a mother can, she taught me lessons about life and loving people that would prove to be some of her greatest gifts to me.

Though she was 24 years older than me, I can remember defending my aunt quite a few times in my childhood. My aunt was, what some would call, “different” and consequently people believed they could take advantage of her. Whether family, friend or foe, I took defending my favorite aunt (a title that had nothing to do with the extra cookies, cake and ice cream I got when I went to her house) with great pride. However, as a kid, I would be confused when the next time my aunt saw that offensive person, she was happy and excited to see them. Did she forget what they said? Surely I didn’t. How could she feed them? How could she help them? How could she be happy to see them after what they did? It was only until this past year that I understood my aunt’s capacity to love people. It was beyond anything that seemed humanly possible. That’s how I knew it was of God. That’s how I knew it was God.

A few years ago, I visited my aunt and she had a Spanish bible. “Ummm what are you doing with that?” I asked her. “Reading it, what you think?” She was quite witty and snappy. “No you aren’t. You don’t even know Spanish.” “Yes I do Candice Marie!!!”  “Now you don’t.” “Oh my goooosh, why you bothering me?!” “Okay then. Prove it.” My aunt took a big sigh, opened her Bible, turned to a passage and said “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” We both erupted in laughter. Even still, I thought my aunt having a Spanish bible made no sense. I knew she had Hispanic neighbors and would attend church services with them. But it would be during the last year of her life that I would truly learn just how impactful my aunt sought to be.

She lived next door to a Hispanic family. They seemed nice; I didn’t interact with them much when I would visit Aunt Darlene and Reggie. I would pass their house often and see my aunt sitting and talking with the mother and my cousin Reggie chasing the kids with water ballons or digging in the dirt with them. My aunt told me that Mrs. Mary, her neighbor was her best friend.  Later we learned that, when they moved there, Mrs. Mary spoke very little English and my aunt offered to teach her English in exchange for Spanish lessons. Mrs. Mary’s children came to know my aunt as their aunt because she would care for them whenever Mrs. Mary and her husband needed additional assistance. For a family of a completely different culture and ethnicity, my aunt provided refuge.

In my aunt’s “difference”, she taught me more about Christ than some sermons or songs. She lived His life. Her love kept no record of wrong against those who would seek to wrong her. Her love was kind to the neighbor who left all things familiar and came to a foreign land. Her love was patient with a neice (and sister) who didn’t seem to get to the movie theatre on time so she could watch the previews. I never saw my Aunt Darlene angry at anyone or heard her say anything harsh in my life. Her life emulated who I want to be- who we all should be- loving, protective, generous and kind.

There are moments I wish I could crawl into my aunt’s bed and watch another episode of Gunsmoke with her. There are times I would give anything for another game of Connect Four or to shop for our matching Christmas Eve pajamas. My heart yearns for another chance to glance over at her from the drivers seat, laughing uncontrollably, because she’s singing the wrong lyrics to yet another song with wild abandon. Most importantly, I wish I could run to her and say “Aunt Darlene I’ve got it! I’m learning how to love right and it’s all thanks to you!” But those moments will not come; instead my life has to be my gratitude. By giving someone Christ every day, I will show that I recognize how unbelievably blessed I am to have been allowed to be known and loved by her. I may never understand why God allowed me to witness her take her last breath but I do know that I learned so much from seeing how she chose to use the many that came before that one. May I continue to grow in amazing grace so that I can offer the world love, the type of love that can change people, until I see her again.

Darlene Lynell Benbow
December 17, 1957 – November 2, 2010

Occupy the Church

When the "Occupy Wall Street" movement began several weeks ago, there were many who were aloof to its mere existence. I was one of them. I saw the posts on Twitter and on Facebook. I saw it featured on local and national news reports but still had not paid enough attention to the revolution to learn about it. When one of my friends, who is very active in “Occupy Chicago”, expressed his concern that very few African-Americans were engaged in the movement at local and national levels, I had to come clean. Here I am: a PhD student engaged in social activism and completely ignorant to one of the greatest social movements of my time.

So I educated myself and began to see how vital “Occupy Wall Street” is to providing a voice to those who have been disproportionately affected by the current financial crisis. Those who have long since been ignored by corporate businessmen and policymakers were now at their front door demanding they be recognized. As I began to think about the beauty and potential of this movement, I jokingly said to my friend “You can occupy Wall Street. I’ll occupy the Church.”

But why not occupy the Church?

While that is a profound question, a more fundamental one to ask is “Where is Jesus in the midst of this current economic disaster?” Jesus was always engaging the poor; His ministry fundamentally served them. Before He left, He charged His disciples to continue the work He began. Continuing that work is more than a “weeping endures for a night” or “hold on until your change comes” sermon. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ most recent report, the national unemployment rate is 9.1%. However, the unemployment rate for Hispanics is 11.3% and 16% for African-Americans. Continuing the work of Jesus is utilizing every resource available to alleviate the problems concerning “the least of these”. This is why we need to “Occupy the Church”.

When was the last time we experienced a movement that held the Church accountable to its mission of outreach and social justice? With the rate of unemployment climbing and the problems associated with that unemployment continuing to plague minority communities, it is time to demand accountability from our religious institutions. The mission of and mandate on the Christian church is to be like Christ. Those who followed Jesus, and those who did not, never ceased in soliciting assistance from them. And he gave it. His church is to do the same.

So what should “Occupy the Church” look like? While I would love to see every member of inner cities and rural communities journey to the nearest church and find ways to hold them accountable, I believe the movement should be both proactive and reactive. During “Occupy the Church”, there should be:

- A call to discontinue building and capital campaigns that do not meet emergent church safety needs and are not directly related with outreach. A family life center does not constitute outreach. Donating that money to families in jeopardy of foreclosure does. We can no longer afford to celebrate the wealth used to build new edifices when the communities that surround it are impoverished.

- An increase in the benevolence given by a church and the number of people who can receive it. Members are required to be “financially active” before they request financial assistance from some churches. Additionally, many can only request assistance once per calendar year. Given our nation’s current economic condition and the mission of Christ, this movement would see all people helped by God’s house.

- A collective and consistent rally of religious leaders demanding elected officials create opportunities that will return employment to minority communities. We can no longer afford for politicians to file into our sanctuaries to appeal for votes during election cycles but, once elected, use their vote in favor of policies that do not employ or sustain us.

- The critical engagement of young people, and the culture to which they subscribe, that will allow healthy conversation from which the Church can grow. As the Church seeks to fight against the injustices of the poor, it must take every advantage to gain warriors. The strongest voice is that of the youth. Productive conversation can both save a generation and propel a movement.

- An ethnically integrated approach to solving the issues surrounding poverty. The current economic crisis has impacted us all. However, African-American and Hispanic communities have always had less expendable income per household than their White counterparts. It is the responsibility of every Christian to aid their siblings. Inequality continues to polarize but, through authentic faith, we can unite and work effectively together.

“Occupy the Church” does not seek to dilute the importance of the “Occupy Wall Street” movement. It is necessary. However, what “Occupy the Church” will do is extend the reach and impact of the message to those who would be its greatest benefactors. “Occupy Wall Street” seeks to effect change on Main Street. “Occupy the Church” would have its greatest impact on Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd. “Occupy Wall Street”, though impactful, will never raise questions most pertinent to us and seek to answer them. The issues “Occupy the Church” cannot ignore include:

- Almost half of African-American and Hispanic children live in poverty

- African-American women continue to lead the nation in new HIV/AIDS cases

- The fight against immigration continues to treat our brothers and sisters from across the borders in a way not intended by God

- Judicial sentencing continues to disproportionately affect African-American and Hispanic communities

This movement will not be easy. It will mean many who once had no accountability will be held accountable. It will cause those who profess to be Christ-like to actually become Christ-like. Most importantly, it will ensure that the message of Jesus remains accurate and effective in combating those social injustices that grieve our land. Who knows how long “Occupy Wall Street” will continue? But “Occupy the Church” should remain in effect until the Savior returns.

Weekly, I will raise an “Occupy the Church” issue for discussion on my blog, Selah and Amen: Righteous Critique. Additionally, I will appeal to religious leadership, at both local and national levels, to begin the dialogue in their congregations that will transform their communities. I encourage you to follow me on Twitter @CandiceBenbow and join the conversation #OccupyTheChurch.

©CMB, 2011

5 Ways to Increase Black Church Presence and Impact at HBCUs

The Fall is, indeed, an exciting time of year on any college campus- especially the HBCU. With Freshmen embracing new discovery, Seniors readying themselves for their next steps, and Homecoming festivities, the historically Black college environment creates endless opportunities for transformation and excitement. However, with the increasing incidents of campus violence and the recent deaths of promising students, at Florida A&M University and Bowie State University, many are beginning to question the ability of HBCUs to educate and protect Black America’s future pioneers.

It does not go unchallenged that Black colleges face challenges which seek to undermine its historical legacy and present impact in the global society. Fiscal irresponsibility, academic inconsistencies, customer service complaints, apathetic students and disconnected alumni continue to plague African-American institutions and cause negative perceptions in the community that are diametrically opposed to the missions of the colleges. As we seek find solutions to the complex issues our beloved institutions face, including the engagement of Black religious organizations, specifically the Black Church, is a necessary step.

Both nestled in the African-American community, the Black Church and the HBCU are sister institutions- supplying each other with leaders, thinkers and workers. The vast majority of Black religious leaders are graduates of HBCUs and members of Black Greek Letter Organizations. Black college faculty and staff serve as ushers, choir members, Sunday School teachers and trustees within their congregations. Essentially, the two are one and creating a more intentional relationship can be beneficial to both organizations. Going beyond the traditional “off campus” Black church campus ministry structure, here are five ways African-American congregations can increase their presence (and potential impact) on HBCU campuses:

Financial Assistance to the University

Building funds are just as necessary to HBCUs as they are to Black Churches. Congregations can create a giving campaign that directly benefits their local Black college. This can range from an annual fundraising event, creating an outreach fund to be collected during each service to a special 5th Sunday offering.

Financial Assistance to Students

Federal Aid does not always cover the financial expenses of Black college students. Most have to work full or part time jobs to offset costs, with little to no assistance from their families, who may also be experiencing economic distress. Allowing local students to receive church benevolence can satisfy an outstanding balance and purchase textbooks, food or computers. And a $30 Walmart gift card can go a long way.

“Adopt” a Residence Hall and/or Academic Building

Black churches in a city can be innovative, collaborating with each other to adopt residence halls and academic buildings. Hosting game and movie nights, as well as a variety of seminars, create a social outlet for students. Providing snacks, throughout the semester and during final exam periods, are a great way to show support and encouragement.

Black Church Week

Next to Homecoming, campus organization weeks are sacred times on the HBCU campus. With the introduction of new Greeks, free food and exciting programs, students work hard and look forward to the themed festivities. Black churches can host their own weeks with programming and activities that will appeal to the average student and advance the church’s mission of outreach. Be creative. Just don’t forget the free food!

Sunday Dinner

Whether one attends church services or not- Sunday dinners are a staple in the African-American community, unifying families and creating lasting memories. Black churches can cook or cater dinners for HBCU students to provide them with a much needed sense of home. Not making church attendance the requirement for eating shows the church is commitment to reaching all students, not just those who would participate in activities without incentives.

This does not mean that if Black churches had a greater presence on campus, what happened at Bowie State and FAMU would not have happened. Focused and increased presence does, however, have the ability to change an atmosphere and the people in it. Black churches and Black colleges owe it to each other to be more for each other. So much depends on it.

The Day Twitter Picked On The Pastor

A few days ago, Shaun King informed everyone of his intention to step down as pastor of Courageous Church in Atlanta, Georgia. For many, including myself, we saw it as a blow. Courageous represented a breath of fresh air in the American (especially Black) Church System. We were tired of church as usual and, from the outside looking in, Courageous seemed to give an alternative to that. I know I wasn’t alone when I saw Courageous being a national movement, with “churches” everywhere.

I didn’t know who Shaun King was until a few months ago. A friend of mine texted me about a young pastor going off on Twitter, calling another pastor a rapist. I read Shaun’s timeline and was livid, to say the least, and I told him as much. That’s not what we do. That’s not who we are. While I was glad a pastor in Atlanta was FINALLY speaking out about the sexual abuse against children in churches there, I didn’t think he handled it correctly or effectively. Unbeknownst to me, I had a few good friends attending Courageous and they called to tell me about their pastor and the church. Honestly, the more I learned about Shaun King, the more I liked him. He was quirky, he approached ministry in the most radical of ways and it seemed genuine.

But this post isn’t about Shaun King. It’s about the thinly veiled attempts by pastors today, through social mediums, to exalt themselves as true spiritual leaders while, at the same time, discrediting him and his thoughts. More importantly, it’s about how that’s doing absolutely nothing to advance the kingdom and Christ’s mission. In talking with a few of my friends in ministry, many advised me to not write this. One said “Those dudes are treacherous. Be careful.” The sad thing is he was wasn’t talking about mobsters; he was talking about pastors- men and women who lead spiritual and religious congregations. But let’s be honest: the celebrity strand of Black Christian leadership and their minions are cold and unfeeling. But growing up in Winston Salem, North Carolina and the Missionary Baptist Church taught me two things: how to fight in the spiritual and in the natural.

With that said, let’s go.

How does this work exactly? How do you publicly crucify a preacher using your Twitter timeline while privately soliciting sex (from men and women) through your direct messages? Yes #TwitterPastors, the email notifications of your direct messages are flying across the country faster than Airtran. Are they teaching this in seminary? Do they also teach you how to add to your Twitter followership daily while your church members are leaving in droves over your fiscal/spiritual/social/personal irresponsibility? Seriously; what are we doing here?

I said a few weeks ago that today’s Black pastor sees himself as a celebrity while yesterday’s saw himself as a servant. I caught flack for it then. I stand behind it even more today. It’s so very easy to bully from behind HootSuite, TweetDeck or UberSocial. There’s nothing revolutionary about tweeting a Scripture of “correction” from your iPad.

It amazes how vocal pastors are on Twitter today but were mute in regards to the continued sexual objectification of children at the hands of religious leadership a year ago.

I’m in awe how quickly pastors used Twitter to vilify anyone who spoke negatively against the late Pastor Zachery Tims just a few weeks ago but are doing the exact same thing to Shaun King today.

Fascinating, isn’t it, how people can find every Scripture under the sun to demonize someone else’s behavior but can’t find one that will cause them to shut up and work inwardly on themselves?

Is this that “move” and “flow” we’re always talking and tweeting about? Can I step out of it, then?

We can preach these sermons, on Sunday, about ignoring “man” and only listening to the voice of God and doing what He tells us to do but, on Tuesday, we’re using 140 character spaces to mock someone for doing just that. It’s pathetic. I don’t know the specifics of Shaun King’s departure from Courageous Church and I don’t believe what the majority of pastors are saying about it. What I do know is I admire anyone who’d rather freely give financial resources to members and the community than have a cap on the benevolence fund. I tip my hat to any pastor who sees radically changing the conditions of the impoverished as more than just “a string of community service projects”. I applaud anyone who recognizes, when his presence in a place hurts more than it helps, it’s time to go.

But I don’t know if God told Shaun to leave his post at Courageous and it’s not our place to use our personal leadership experiences to answer that. If God did tell him to leave, I am proud that He courageously walked further into His purpose. If He didn’t, God’s forgiveness and grace extends to him like it does us all. But what I do know, what I’m 100% sure of, is that God didn’t tell any of His shepherds to call their follow laborer “immature”, “foolish”, “unwise”, “ridiculous”, “irrational”, “a punk” or “reaping what he sowed”. That I do know.

It is my prayer that one day we all (myself included) can put ego and platform building aside and truly be about our Father’s business.

What’s Beef?: When Black Academics Go Hip Hop and Get Gully

At one point, I thought about getting some popcorn. I mean…it was getting that good. The jabs were landing ever so effectively. The punch lines were classic. Amidst the texts/calls/BBMs asking the same question “Did you see that?!”, I knew I wasn’t the only one watching the festivities. People everywhere were looking at this. This was one for the history books. No, we weren’t watching season finales or reality television reunion shows. With our feet crossed- some of us even in pajamas- and phone in hand, we all tuned into an epic Twitter battle royal on Tuesday. However, instead of our favorite rappers sparring at each other using 140 characters or less, it was our professors- some of Black America’s leading scholars and thinkers- going in.“Is this Revenge of the Nerds?”, a good friend jokingly asked. Ohhh but it was so much more.

On Tuesday, the world became aware of the full extent of Dr. Cornel West’s disdain for President Barack Obama. The tenured Princeton professor and philosopher called him a “Black mascot” for Wall Street oligarchs and corporate plutocrats. Insisting that President Obama has ignored the plight of the poor and Black in America, West also explained his personal issues with the President. Apparently, while campaigning for him, Dr. West called and prayed for (then) Senator Obama and he didn’t call him back. And to add insult to injury, Dr. West wasn’t even given tickets to the Presidential Inauguration. He had to watch it from his hotel room with his mother and brother, while the hotel worker assisting him with his luggage had a ticket. Oh and then there’s Dr. West’s claim that President Barack Obama, the leader of the free world, came up to him last year at the Urban League's 100th Anniversary Convention and “cussed” him out.

Let me first say this- I think Dr. Cornel West has contributed profoundly to significant discussions in America. I love his work. Taking Dr. King’s book Why We Can’t Wait and drawing parallels of progression from it with Dr. West’s Prophesy Deliverance is one of the highlights of my academic career. But I, like a great number of people, gave West a glaring *side eye* for his remarks in Chris Hedge’s piece. I’m not one of those people who thinks President Obama is above critique; I was highly critical of a healthcare system without a public option. So Dr. West and others who can substantively critique leadership are necessary. But let’s be real: that’s not ALL Dr. West is doing. Unfortunately he (and others) has begun to believe his own hype to the detriment of his message. It’s a sad day when the one who told us you can’t save and lead the people if you don’t serve and love them is upset a hotel bellhop was granted the access he was seemingly denied. Then, later that evening with Ed Shultz, he said he wanted to affirm Pres. Obama’s humanity and protect him from attack. Where is Ed Lover when you need him? C’mon Son. We don’t believe you; you need more people.

And, as scholars do, many took West to task for his disparaging, unfounded and egotistical remarks. For instance, many referred to Dr. Melissa Harris Perry’s piece, calling West to task, as the academic equivalent of Nas’ “Ether”. I mean…..there were only two things I thought about after reading it: playing “Ether” and using my best Fabolous voice to say “Niiice”. It was good. It was grounded in scholarship and rooted in fact. But, though we’d seen a great deal of back-and-forth all day after West’s interview was published, it seemed things within Black academia took a slight turn after Harris Perry’s piece was posted. My jaw dropped when I read "It is becoming increasingly difficult to take @mharrisperry seriously." tweeted by Eddie Glaude, Princeton professor and West’s good friend and protégé. And that- my friends- is when, for me, it got real. Several other professors and scholars waged scholastic war via Twitter on, what can only be classified (in my opinion) as the truth.

While Harris Perry has no need for anyone to defend her (she did an awesome job of that on her own), I couldn’t help but be amazed at how quickly scholastic critique evolved into personal attack. Black scholars can hide behind nine syllable words and a string of phrases they believe the average person wouldn’t comprehend, but many known an academic “yo mama” when they see it. This isn’t the first time Black scholars have gone at it through social networking mediums. However, the below the belt comments fielded Tuesday evening showed just how low public intellectual discourse in Black America can go when pushed. As a student admiring the contributions of many of these scholars, I wonder what type of tone is being set in the Black intellectual community. Why does it seem we can’t get points across without personal attacks? I’m not watching Rihanna and Ciara go at each other’s throats through subliminal tweets, I’m watching highly educated and well paid individuals undermine their colleague’s credibility.

This has gone beyond feeling slighted because President Barack Obama didn’t announce his presidential candidacy on, what some believe to be, THE African-American platform (let’s be honest- that’s exactly what started all this in the first place). This has gone beyond any structured critique of leadership and policy implications. This has become personal. On Tuesday, Princeton professor Imani Perry tweeted “Cornel West opened the space. Period. And in my tradition we respect elders, period. Disagreement can be consistent w/that.” I agree. However, when we see West imply one of the most engaged leaders within our community is weak and can be “easily manipulated”, we do not see respectful disagreement. When we see our educational leaders refer to the work of their colleagues as “bombast and bellicosity”, we do not see respectful disagreement. When we see them resort to petty remarks of misspelled tweets just to get a point across, we do not see respectful disagreement.

Those who accuse the African-American community of not having a substantive critique of the Obama Administration can’t then become hypocritical and unwilling to accept a substantive critique others have of them. I purchased every book Dr. West has published. I even own and have read the majority of the works of the intellectuals who squared off on Twitter. I support them and believe their voices are necessary. However, in a community where our children hear the first African-American President of the United States referred to as someone who is afraid of “free Black men”, the last thing they need to hear are their future professors picking on each other.

With so many in the Hip Hop generation climbing the Ivory Tower, academics and pop culture will continue to intertwine. Beef is good. It’s good in the music. It’s even good in academia. It keeps us on our toes, ensuring our product- whether music or philosophy- is fresh and most beneficial to the progression of the people. But beef is problematic when it becomes personal. It’s counterproductive. Most importantly, it’s just straight up whack. It was entirely too many degrees and too much money talking reckless on Twitter Tuesday. Using my best Florida voice, I ask “Where they do THAT at?” Sadly, in the African-American intellectual community.

Let Them Eat Pancake: Lent 2011

It’s Ash Wednesday so you know what that means: Lenten Season is upon us. I must confess, as a child, I didn’t know much about Lent. All I remember was getting stuck by an usher with a straight pin as she attached a palm to my dress, going to the Seven Last Words services and thinking Jesus sure did have a lot to say on the cross (for a child, any service longer than an hour is punishment), having Easter egg hunts around the church and getting a new Easter dress every year. It wasn’t until I became an adult, more recently in the last three years or so, that I became much more serious about living, what I heard referred to as, an “Easter life”.

It started small for me: “I’ll give up sweets”, “I’ll give up shopping everyday”, “I’ll give up Facebook”, “I’ll give up texting (to know me is to know the last two are indeed true sacrifices!!!).” And I would do it. I would read more but not really gain from the experience. And I realized why I wasn’t evolving in the ways I hoped; because, I was simply just going through the motions:

Give up for 40 days. Go shopping on Easter.

Give up for 40 days. Eat peach cobbler on Easter.

Give up for 40 days. Tell Facebook “I’m baaaaack” on Easter.

Give up for 40 days. Engage in a minimum of eight text conversations on Easter.

It didn’t matter what I gave up because I wasn’t committed to understanding and appreciating the depth of the sacrifice. And so, this year, I am.

Yesterday, I had my first Shrove Tuesday experience! For those who don’t know (and I didn’t until fairly recently), Shrove Tuesday concluded a week of deep reflection in preparation for the Lenten season. On Shrove Tuesday, many (most of Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopal and Catholic traditions) enjoy a pancake supper, as pancakes are comprised of most ingredients usually forbidden during Lent. While there, I was able to have a conversation with the mother of the founder of a festival I look forward to every other year. We talked about how her son’s dream allowed me to meet one of my best friends and how that was a testament to the purpose and power of his dream. I saw friends I hadn’t seen in years. We sat and talked and laughed for hours and hours and hours (we were actually asked nicely to carry our conversations to another venue a few times). While I’d already decided what I would be fasting from during Lent, I didn’t see how my Shrove Tuesday experience reinforced I made the right decision until this morning.

For the next forty days, I will be saying goodbye to the personal use of text, BBM, chat, email, Facebook and Twitter. This is, without question, a true sacrifice! I looked at my cell phone bill a month ago. In a month, I used only 400 minutes and sent 9500 text messages. I typed to a whole bunch of somebodies close to 10000 times. I couldn’t believe it. Then again, I could. I thought about how I would often miss a phone call and follow it up with a text message. I thought it all the times I’ve said Happy Birthday through BBM. I can give you real time updates on the life and times of some of my closest friends- not because I talk to them but because I’m their friend on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.

Don’t get me wrong: much of my usage is for sheer convenience. I’m busy and they’re busy and, sometimes, an email/text/message/ping is sufficient. However, after last night, I realize I miss talking and laughing with my friends. There’s a humanity there that technology can’t replace. I can’t misconstrue tone in conversation. My friends can’t be confused by my meaning and intention when we’re on the phone. Most importantly, we begin to value each other differently when we take time to talk to each other. But isn’t that what Lent is about? Isn’t about sacrificing something to understand the worth of the gift in Christ we’ve been given? Not only did Christ give me the gift of eternal life, He gave me the gift of wonderful friendships. I am loved by some amazing people. They need to know I appreciate that- that I am humbled by that. A text could say it. But it would be better coming from me.

Here’s to some life changing pancakes and to the next 40 days of reminding us all of why we’re really here.

©CMB, 2011

Westboro Baptist Church Needs What Would Jesus Do Bracelets

If you don’t see me in church on Sunday, I’m on a very special assignment. I’m going to give the members of Westboro Baptist Church a few of my old “What Would Jesus Do?” bracelets. I had a lot of them- almost one to match every outfit so I’ll have enough to go around. Because they need them.

No, seriously. They do.

Last week, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of Westboro Baptist Church, stating it was not liable for its protest at the funeral of a soldier killed in Iraq in 2006. The father of that soldier sued the church and initially won. The Supreme Court’s decision protects Westboro’s right to free speech, no matter how deplorable it may be. And it is.

I always thought Fred Phelps and his congregation were some of the biggest yahoos to ever name the name of Christ. But then I learned the truth: Westboro Baptist is, for the most part, comprised of Phelps’ relatives-which makes it a family church. I have no problem with family churches. Communities need them. I do, however, have problems with family churches that spew hate filled venom in every corner of the country and call it God’s work.

I guess I should provide my position: I agree with the Supreme Court’s ruling. We have a right to free speech. While I think to engage in demonstration at the funeral of fallen soldiers (or anyone for that) is in poor taste, it can’t be made illegal and can’t be used as grounds for a civil suit. The Supreme Court’s function is to interpret the Constitution of the United States of America. The Constitution states that American citizens have the right to peaceful assembly and freedom of speech. Ensuring eleven of his thirteen children are practicing attorneys, Fred Phelps ensures that Westboro never crosses the line between unethical behavior to illegal and unconstitutional behavior. As I teach my students, all crime is not deviant and all deviance is not criminal. Westboro’s actions, however, should encourage our local and state officials to pass legislation that limit the proximity of protestors to funerals. Arizona did this when Westboro announced that it would protest at the funeral of Christina Taylor Green, the 9yr old victim in the Tucson massacre. Until legislation is passed at the national level, this is going to be very much a state’s rights issue.

But beyond that, this is about the purpose of Christianity. I will never say, as many have said in interviews/blogs/the like, that the members of Westboro Baptist Church are not Christian. I do believe they love God. I believe that, given their interpretation of Scripture, they believe they are warning a nation of the consequences of living outside of Christ’s love. I also believe they are missing a key element: Christ’s love.

I did not live during the time of Christ but I think I know enough about Him to believe He would not agree with the vile and malicious name calling.

I did not live during the time of Christ but I think I know enough about Him to believe He would not want the sacred space of saying goodbye to a loved one violated by jeers, screams and picket lines.

I did not live during the time of Christ but I think I know enough about Him to believe He would rather that I show all people the same love and compassion He showed me, if I claim to be His disciple.

Westboro Baptist Church has it wrong. They have it all wrong. And if I can round up all my bracelets and head out there, I’m going to tell them just that.






©CMB, 2011

My Education from the Miseducation (of Lauryn Hill)

This past Tuesday evening, I saw something that I should never see again. I shouldn’t have seen in the first place. I was on the hunt for Marsha Ambrosius’ new album, Late Nights and Early Mornings (which is fabulous- by the way) and Adele’s latest release 21 (this will be one of the greatest albums of this decade) and I stopped dead in my tracks. I saw…

…brace yourself…

…are you ready?

…postive?!?!

…okay...

I saw The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill on sale for $7.00!!!

I know right!!!! I couldn’t believe it either! Such blasphemy! With just a five dollar bill and eight quarters, you could purchase one of the greatest musical masterpieces ever. How could they do this? It angered me. It really did. I left the store and didn’t even buy the other CDs out of protest.

I went home and pulled out my copy of The Miseducation. It’s never far from me. I’ve often said that if the Bible had a soundtrack, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill would be it. Yes, this album is that definitive to me. And I’m not alone. Every review of this gem agrees with me. But it took me a long time to get to a place where Lauryn’s miseducation could speak to mine.

When the album was released, I was starting my junior year of high school. I was still naïve, virginal, oblivious to love/men/relationships/confidence- all the things Lauryn spoke to. But I still knew I had something precious. I was beginning a transition in my life- a transition into womanhood. I was ready for college and all the uncertainty that came with it. More times than not, I would just sit and hit repeat over and over and let these words wash over me:

And deep in my heart, the answer, it was in me. And I made up my mind to define my own destiny.

The Miseducation did something all my years of church attendance could not. It helped me clothe myself in true self confidence and become aware of my place in and potential impact on the world.

With college (and adulthood) came the musings of love and I thought I’d found it. My movements, my intentions, my sacrifices, my thoughts reinforced that I was in complete and total possession of what so many twice my age were still pursuing:

These buildings could drift out to sea- some natural catastrophe. Still there’s no place I’d rather be, cause nothing even matters to me. Nothing even matters. Nothing even matters to me. Nothing even matters. Nothing even matters to me…..

But not only could Ms. Lauryn give me the words to articulate great and wonderful emotion, she was also my source to define what was turning out to be more of a complication than my life’s completion:

No matter how I think we grow, you always seem to let me know it ain't workin'. And when I try to walk away, you'd hurt yourself to make me stay. This is crazy.

And she deposited the wisdom in me that, if I let go, it would get better:

Everything is everything. What is meant to be, will be. After winter, must come spring. Change, it comes eventually.

Lauryn Hill and her 16 pieces of luggage were- and continue to be my roommates on this journey known as life and love.

They have been here when I’m dealing with the consequences of my devastating mistakes:

It’s been three weeks since you’ve been looking for your friend- the one you let hit it and never called you again…Don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem, baby girl….

…or when I force someone to deal with the consequences of their devastating mistakes:

You might win some but you really lost one. You just lost one, it's so silly how come. When it's all done, did you really gain from what you done done? It's so silly how come. You just lost one.

…or when I realize that where I am probably isn’t where I need to be:

But I loved the young man….and if you've ever been in love then you'll understand that what you want might make you cry and what you need might pass you by- if you don't catch it. And what you need, ironically, will turn out what you want to be- if you just let it.

…or when I realize that where I am is exactly where I am supposed to be:

See my soul was weary but now it's replenished. Content because that part of my life is finished…I used to love him. Now I don't.

…or when I realize that where I want to be is not where I am:

I know I'm imperfect and not without sin. But now that I'm older, all childish things end and tell him- tell him I need him. Tell him I love him and it'll be alright.

Through the one hour and seventeen minutes of The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, I have grown and continue to grow. I evolve from the unassuming schoolgirl to a woman, unashamed of her mistakes and unrelenting in her quest for love. That type of transformative power has to be worth more than 140 nickels. It has to be.

I believe it is.

Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.

Forgive them indeed.

©CMB, 2011

Divine Dialogue To Honor The Life and Legacy of Dr. Peter Gomes

WINSTON SALEM, North Carolina, March 2, 2011 – On February 28, 2011, the American religious community lost one of its most powerful voices in the personality of Dr. Peter Gomes. Divine Dialogue with Candice Benbow will dedicate this week’s show to the life and legacy of the Plummer Professor of Christian Morals and Pusey Minister in the Memorial Church at Harvard University.

"Dr. Peter Gomes is without question one of the greatest theologians who ever lived," says host Candice Benbow. "He will be missed dearly as a generation seeks to advance his work and purpose through their own. We now look to his sermons, books, interviews and other scholarly works for a blueprint on how to become impactful theologians."

The show will air live March 3, 2011 from 7:00pm – 8:00pm EST on BlogTalk Radio at www.blogtalkradio.com/divinedialogue. Listeners who wish to join the conversation can call 909-533-8314.

An ordained Baptist minister, Dr. Gomes was a leading scholar on American religion. As an activist, Dr. Gomes often championed causes of civil rights, gay rights and gender equality within the church. Time Magazine once called him “one of the seven most distinguished preachers in America.” Both a member of Harvard’s Divinity School and School of Arts and Sciences faculties, Dr. Gomes served as Pusey Minister in the Memorial Church at Harvard since the early 1970s. Dr. Gomes was the author of several best-selling books including The Good Book: Reading the Bible with Mind and Heart and, most recently, The Scandalous Gospel of Jesus: What’s So Good About the Good News?

About Candice Benbow

Candice Benbow’s commentary regarding the impact of religion and social ethics in black and brown communities makes her one of this generation’s emerging leaders and thinkers. Her blog, Selah and Amen: Righteous Critique, allows her to marry her passion for writing with her social, political and spiritual commentaries. Additionally, she writes “Preparing for Purpose” devotionals that are read by subscribers across the world and recently completed writing the series “When God Speaks” that looks at a passage of scripture from each book in the Bible. In 2011, Candice launched Divine Dialogue, an internet radio show which discussing religious and social issues impacting the African-American Community. A published poet, Candice is at work on her first book, Prophets and Pop Culture: Blurring the Line Between the Sacred and Secular in Black America.

info@candicebenbow.com
www.candicebenbow.com

Divine Dialogue Radio Show Playlist: This Is My Story! This Is My Song! (2/17/2011)

Lashun Pace: I Know I’ve Been Changed

James Cleveland: Peace Be Still

Gospel Harmonettes: Jesus On The Mainline

Mahalia Jackson: Troubles of the World

Mississippi Mass Choir: Hold On Old Soldier

Walter Hawkins: Be Grateful

Mississippi Mass Choir: Near The Cross

Whitney Houston: I Love The Lord

John P. Kee: I Believe

Kirk Franklin: Love

Brian Courtney Wilson: Simply Redeemed

Kevin Levar: A Heart That Forgives

Yolanda Adams: Open My Heart

Fred Hammond: You Are The Living Word

One Nation Crew: Standing In Your Grace

50 Cent: God Gave Me Style

Goapele: Closer

India.Arie: God Is Real

Donnie Hathaway: Someday We’ll All Be Free

Affectionate Responsibility: The Doing of Love

You know they’re coming. Those moments when you’re confronted with the worst of you so that the best of you can break free. Sometimes those moments come right after you’ve rolled your eyes at someone who beat you to the last pair of Nine West leopard pumps…on sale…in your size. *hangs head* Other times, they come right after you cut someone off in traffic, took their parking space or said an intentionally unkind word. The ugliness of our imperfections can show in a myriad of ways that, if unchecked, cause the beauty in us to be called into question.

That’s what happened to me. Here I was wearing love like a banner; basking in the fact that I was becoming almost a martyr for it. And that’s not a problem. Everyone should want to sacrifice themselves so that a higher purpose is served. For me, that purpose was love. But is that what I was giving? It wasn’t until one of those moments came, through a conversation with a friend, I accepted that the answer was no.

I realized my conception of love only suited me and what I was trying to do. I can purpose, with everything I have, to be the bridge that closes the religious gap which divides us all but if the people I encounter daily do not recognize the authenticity of my intentions with them, it doesn’t really matter. We can be concerned with the lives of our co-workers, our neighbors, the poor and the impoverished but if we can’t show concern to those who show concern for us, what are we doing? We can be kind to strangers on the street, believing we’re unknowingly entertaining angels, but what if we are not treating the angels we know are in our lives with the same affection?

These questions and the numerous others I had after my talk caused me to wonder if I really knew what love does. Not what love is…because there is a difference. I know that the iPad is Apple’s newest (and coolest) tablet toy but I have no clue what you do with it. I am certain that love is integral to existing and thriving in this world but I was beginning to see that I wasn’t so certain of its mechanics. And so I went to the place where so many retreat in order to get the very answer I needed: 1 Corinthians 13. Needing it in another way, I sought the Message Translation.

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut.

Love doesn't have a swelled head,

Love doesn't force itself on others,

Love isn't always "me first,"

Love doesn't fly off the handle,

Love doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Love doesn't revel when others grovel.

Love takes pleasure in the flowering of truth.

Love puts up with anything,

Love trusts God always,

Love always looks for the best,

Love never looks back but keeps going to the end.

As if it were my first time reading this, I finally understood that if I want to be love, I have to do what love does. So I read it again and replaced love with myself.

Candice never gives up.

Candice cares more for others than for herself.

Candice doesn't want what she doesn't have.

Candice doesn't strut,

Candice doesn't have a swelled head,

Candice doesn't force herself on others,

Candice isn't always "me first,"

Candice doesn't fly off the handle,

Candice doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Candice doesn't revel when others grovel,

Candice takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Candice puts up with anything,

Candice trusts God always,

Candice always looks for the best,

Candice never looks back but keeps going to the end.

This is what I’m supposed to do. This is what we’re all supposed to do. Love is what we’re meant to be. We can’t quit. We can’t boast. We can’t force. We can’t live in the past. We can’t be unwilling to forgive. For if we are any of those things, we can’t be love. As I read our job description, I recognize how great the task is before us. We are not perfect. At no point will we ever master all of these things. But we can try. We can try to offer everyone we meet the same radical behavior that changed our lives. And when we get tired of trying to do it, we will just do it- because it’s a part of us.

It’s what we do.

It’s who we are.

We are love.

Oh, what a blessed assurance.

©CMB, 2011

A Tear's Prayer

Oh God, sustainer of life

Creator of all things- including us

We thank You for the opportunity to make manifest Your will in this earth

For some our presence marks moments of great joy

May those who greet us with smiles remember this time in the days when uncertainty is to come

For others we are the evidence of unspeakable pain

May they understand the lengths You will go to heal them

Oh all powerful and all wise Master

Let us fall from eyes that seek to see You in everything

Let the hearts on which we rest be moved closer to Your will and grace

May we water gardens of victory

May we seal doors to the past

May we know when our time has come to be no more

And may we then encourage those we have met to learn to live without us

Amen

©CMB, 2011